You probably worry too much.
I know I used to.
“Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere” – Erma Bombeck
If you find yourself constantly focused on worst-case scenarios worrying can be a real problem and can send you into a disastrous tailspin.
- What if I fail?
- What if I get fired?
- What if I make a fool of myself?
- What if they don’t like me?
The mountain of “what ifs” can overwhelm you and drain your energy and paralyze you with fear and doubt. Some worrying can be helpful if it causes you to avoid or fix a situation but chronic worrying can stress you out and interfere with your daily life.
Worrying can cause a litany of issues. These are just a few of the medical problems it can cause:
- Difficulty swallowing
- Digestion issues
- Dizziness
- Dry mouth
- Fast heartbeat
- Fatigue
- Headaches
- Difficulty concentrating
- Irritability
- Muscle aches
- Muscle tension
- Nausea
The good news is that constant worrying is a habit that can be broken. Here are some tips to help you break this vicious cycle.
Realize that most of the things you worry about never happen
In my own experience I find that most of the scenarios that I come up with in my head that caused me to worry non-stop never happened. And the times that my worries did come true it wasn’t nearly as bad as I had imagined in my head.
So when you start worrying just ask yourself home many times has something you worried about actually happened?
Many of your worries are just things that you make up in your head that then get a life of their own. I can reflect on times I was so worried about a situation that I felt there were a certainty or that they had already happened. No one could talk me out of it, not even my wife. But guess what? Most of the situations that were causing me to toss and turn each night and that were making my waking hours miserable never came to pass. They never happened.
I’m sure if you look back on some of your most recent worries you will see that many of them didn’t happen either.
Use the “5 Second Rule” to stop worrying instantly
I am a huge believer in The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. This book and the concept changed my life. Next time you find yourself worrying too much just try this.
In you head or out loud say “5..4…3…2…1…..STOP WORRYING”. This will help you break they mental cycle. If you start worrying again just do it again “5..4…3…2…1…..STOP WORRYING”.
I know this sounds ridiculously simple but try it. It really works. At least it did for me.
Be in the present moment
Stop reliving the past. The past is over you have to move forward. Don’t worry so much about the future. It hasn’t happened yet and the scenarios you build up in your head probably won’t happen. And guess what? If they do you will deal with it then.
Take a deep breath and focus on the here and now. Be present!
Focus on the things around you. Maybe its your kids, or the birds in the sky, the sun on your face. It could be anything to bring you back to the current moment. This is also known as mindfulness and there are tons of resources out there that can help. You can start with mindful.org.
As part of this you can try meditation which has been proven to lower anxiety.
Workout
I’ve learned that its hard to be worried when you are kicking your own butt with an intense workout!
Research has shown that exercise increases levels of serotonin in your brain which is the chemical that makes you feel happy. You can also feel better with more moderate exercise. When I was worried about my sick parents (who eventually died) I found that going on long walks or bike rides really helped clear my mind and relieve some of my anxiety.
Understand that there are some things you can’t control
There are many things in life that you have no control over. It is important to determine what these things are so you don’t waste your precious energy and effort focusing on them.
You can’t stop a storm from coming but you can get prepared!
Designate “worry time”
Instead of worrying throughout the entire day set aside a 30 minute period where you will think about your problems. Use your worry time to think of solutions to your worries like “what am I going to do about my terrible job” by thinking up solutions to your problems.
Understand that you are not perfect
Cut yourself some slack and don’t be so hard on yourself. So what if you messed up on something, you will do better next time. No one said life would be easy! Do the best you can and move forward.
Don’t keep beating yourself up for something you did in the past! I love this quote:
“If beating yourself up worked you’d be rich, thin, and happy. Try loving yourself instead.” Cheryl Richardson
Breathe slowly and deeply
Deep breathing has been shown to lower stress and anxiety. Try this the next time you find yourself worrying out of control:
- Exhale completely through your mouth, then inhale through your nose while you count to four.
- Hold your breath for seven seconds
- Exhale for eight seconds
This is known as the 4-7-8 breath and was coined by Andrew Weil in his book Spontaneous Happiness: A New Path to Emotional Well-Being.
Do something you enjoy
If all else fails and you can’t stop your chronic worrying take some time to do something you enjoy. Watch a movie, read a book, talk to a friend, anything that can hopefully help you break your worrywart cycle.
I enjoy playing video games so for me it is losing myself in a virtual world for a few hours.
