Well I finally went to a psychiatrist after dealing with anxiety for years. It has gotten so bad after I started my new job that I decided to seek professional help. During my appointment I was diagnosed with mild depression and general anxiety disorder more commonly known as GAD. The GAD diagnosis didn’t surprise me but the mild depression diagnosis definitely did. The doctor prescribed 10mg of Lexapro.
I read some real horror stories online so I was afraid to take it but after talking with my wife I decided to take the plunge. I need to get better and if this drug can help I owe it to myself and my family.
First Week
So far I’m on day 3 and I feel a little nauseous at times but so far so good. Maybe also a bit more tired but nothing I can’t fight through. Tomorrow will be my first day in the office on Lexapro so hopefully it goes well. Im in a super stressful role and my fear is that I will start sweating profusely during a meeting which I heard can be one of the side effects.
On a positive note there are some real pressures on me from my job which normally would have me wrung up tight with anxiety and worry. While I still feel anxious it’s not nearly as bad as it usually is.
Not sure how this will go but it also feels good to take matters into my own hands to relieve my anxiety and get better. Like many of you I look forward to a day that isn’t filled with feelings of dread and anxiety! I remember feeling excited about the future in the past so I know it’s possible.
To fully heal I believe I will also need to quit my job since it is way too stressful and is triggering my anxiety. But I will take it one day at a time.
The problem for me is I don’t know what I want to do next. All I know is that I need to be in a much less stressful job. Thankfully we’ve been diligent in saving for our future.
Second Week
Most mornings feeling really bad anxiety when I wake up. By early afternoon on each day I do start to feel more positive and by the evening most of the anxiety feels like it has melted away. Towards the later part of the week I’m feeling better in the morning with less dread which I guess is related to my GAD. My appetite has really dropped and I’ve lost about 9 pounds since starting which has been an unexpected benefit. From everything I’ve read this will be temporary.
I’ve been hot at night and usually wake up drenched in sweat. I also sweat more at work which concerns me since I work in an office and I don’t want people to think I am nervous when they see me sweating during a meeting. Even with these side effects I’m optimistic that Lexapro will be able to help me.
Third Week
I’m still feeling anxiety most mornings but it seems to be getting better. When I woke up Saturday and Sunday I actually felt really good and optimistic! I have noticed that Lexapro still makes me tired so I have to drink a couple 5 hour energies and coffee during the work day.
Also my libido has dropped down to almost zero. This is a very common side effect from what I understand so you should be aware of that before taking. I knew this was a potential issue and was willing to risk it to feel better. I have an appointment with the psychiatrist coming up soon so will be interesting to see if he ups my dose. I’m currently on 10mgs.
Jury is still out on if Lexapro is helping but still think it was the right decision to try it to improve my quality of life. As a side benefit my appetite continues to also be low so I have shed a few pounds!
Fourth Week
Feels like I really turned a corner this week. I was starting to worry that the Lexapro was no longer working as I was feeling strong anxiety and dread in the morning early during the work week. Was also having racing thoughts at around 3am and 4 am that made it hard to fall back asleep so I had to use a sleep aid (ZzzQuil) to get some sleep.
But then something happened around Thursday and I started to have a feeling of optimism and much less worry when I woke up. I also had more energy and didn’t need to drink a 5 Hour Energy during the day at work. Really feels like the Lexapro is starting to work. I just feel better! My wife said she can definitely tell a difference in how I have been acting around the house the last few days. Glad I stuck with it. Have an appointment with my psychiatrist this week I think.
Fifth Week
Still having good days and bad days. Lexapro inst a magic pill but I will stay the course for now. Had my appointment last week and will stay on 10 mg and then go to 20 mg next month. I still feel better in the late afternoon/evenings most days.
Really leaning towards quitting my job so I can just focus on healing. It is causing me a ton of anxiety. Also been exhausted this past week so trying to get more sleep. The Zzzquil has helped me sleep more without waking up so many times during the night and tossing and turning as I worry about random stuff.
Sixth Week
Continuing to feel better. In the morning I still wake up feeling a sense of dread but it doesn’t last as long as it used to. I haven’t been as short with my kids and I’m less argumentative with my wife. I’m also happy that I’m no longer feeling sleepy after taking the Lexapro so I haven’t had to drink a 5 Hour Energy just to make it through the day. Overall I’m glad I decided to try this antidepressant.
I will see how I feel on the 20 mg dose next month. If it makes me feel weird or foggy I will just break the tablet in half and go back to 10mg.
Eighth Week
Missed updating my seventh week journey. Was a weird time for me and I was feeling pretty down and actually didn’t go to work one day I was so down. Instead slept for most of the morning and then went to a nature preserve in the afternoon to clear my head. Since then I’ve been feeling better. Come to the realization that lexapro isn’t a silver bullet but it does seem to help. My lows aren’t as low most days and my highs aren’t as high so in a sense it levels me out. About to start taking 20mgs.
