Seeking Peace – Trying Antidepressants

After years of struggling with anxiety I’ve finally decided to seek professional help. I’m planning to talk with a psychiatrist and get a prescription for an antidepressant. My wife is asking me to do it and I’ve finally decided that I want to be happy and truly at peace.  Not sure if this will help but at this point I figure it is worth a shot.  I am in a constant state of anxiety that is only getting worse.

It doesn’t matter how much money I make or have or what I try to do.  The anxiety is always there.  So I’ll be making an appointment soon.  I don’t care about the stigma that surrounds seeking help for mental health. Being at peace would be so great!  I don’t even remember what it was like to not have an ever present feeling of dread and anxiety.  Guess I really haven’t been the same since my parents died several years ago.

I remember that used to sing and be excited to see my kids when I would get home from work.  Can’t remember the last time I felt that way.  I just feel like my life is on a hamster wheel and I realize that is no way to go through life.  I found some old video footage of me on a camcorder from the mid 2000’s and I seemed so much happier.  Didn’t matter that I didn’t have nearly as much money as a I have now. I would do anything to feel that way again consistently.  So here goes nothing!  I’ll report back on my experience.  I remember one of the execs at my old company that told me he was on antidepressants and some days it would seem like he was walking around like a zombie.  Hope that doesn’t happen to me.

Has anyone had a good or bad experience after taking anti depressants?  You only hear the horror stories and not the stories of the people who are doing better afterwards.  Wish me luck!

Update:  I have my first appointment in about a week.  It was surprisingly hard to find a psychiatrist.  My wife had to call around for several days to find one that would call her back or schedule an appointment.  I’m optimistic that they will prescribe something that will help with the constant sense of anxiety that I have.  I also need to do something about my job.  Not sure but feeling like I need to quit which is unfortunate since I just started about  3 months ago but it’s a pressure cooker and it is just making my quality of life pretty damn bad right now.  Just want to take a nice long break and recharge!

Update 2:  I had my appointment with the psychiatrist this evening and I was diagnosed with mild depression and general anxiety disorder (GAD).  I was prescribed Lexapro (escitalopram) and will start taking it tomorrow.  Here goes nothing!